Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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