how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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