What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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