so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
