I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
