theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize