sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
