You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
