Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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