ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
