i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You were trust falling into bushes
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
