This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize