i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Damn victory sex feels great
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
