Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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