Non-Jews are for practice
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
