R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
