i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
