This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize