Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
