Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
