Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize