hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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