none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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