I think my fart just growled at me.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
