There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
