I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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