I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
