i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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