Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
