That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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