omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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