It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
