I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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