marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i permit you to call me
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
