It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
