Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
fuck your aforementioned shoe
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
