I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I understand Curling. That high.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize