his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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