How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
