just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
