can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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