No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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