First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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