Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
