Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
