Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
