3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Blood and glitter go together right?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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