Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
