Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize
