Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
