Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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