office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
