your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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