The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
