so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
