i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize