shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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