She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Damn victory sex feels great
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
