WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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