Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
