how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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